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‘Schlafly Titanium,’ the ultimate craft beer white whale

April 03, 2012 By: mike Category: Breweries, Craft beer, Funny

There’s an auction on eBay under way for “Schlafly Titanium,” a beer so rare, only one bottle will ever be produced.

Here’s more about the beer from Schlafly Beer, St. Louis’ leading craft brewery:

Fermentation was carried out with a wild “space yeast”, harvested from ancient residue recently unearthed at a meteor crash site. Schlafly Titanium is dry-hopped 7 times with our proprietary hybrid of Galaxy, Amarillo, Simcoe and Citra hops, resulting in a beer with a theoretical count of over 10,000 IBU’s.

In addition to the choicest raw materials, Schlafly Titanium is also brewed with a host of other premium ingredients. This process is so exhausting, so extravagant, so expensive, that it yields but one single bottle of Schlafly Titanium.

Only one bottle of Schlafly Titanium will ever be made available to the public. This is truly the Ultimate Craft Beer White Whale.

By now I hope you’ve figured out that Schlafly Titanium is a joke and the video is a parody commercial for April Fool’s Day.

But what IS real is the auction.

Schlafly is auctioning off the actual, EMPTY bottle seen in the Schlafly Titanium commercial, handmade specifically for the April Fool’s joke. The winner of the auction gets the bottle, as well as a $50 gift certificate that can be used at either The Schlafly Tap Room or Schlafly Bottleworks in St. Louis. The gift certificate is good for dining, as well, at Schlafly’s retail shop.

All proceeds go to the Gateway Chapter of The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, Inc.

The auction ends Sunday. As of this morning, the current bid was $355.

Schlafly logo

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